


X Marks the Spot Through My Heart

by MarsHunter06



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Endgame is going to end me so here's this fic to make it worse, F/M, Heavily influenced by X Ambassadors, James Rogers is real, Mars tries angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 20:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17904728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarsHunter06/pseuds/MarsHunter06
Summary: Don’t stay for me. You’ve got to leave. Do what you need, but don’t stay for me. My ship is sinking, so don’t go overboard trying to save me. Though I want you to stay, but don’t stay for me…Mama, approach, appear. Dad I know you’re tired of being alone. If you love me, don’t let go.No one comes out unscathed in the endgame, some of us just lose more than we bargained for.





	X Marks the Spot Through My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Angst is not my thing, but I've been wanting to write this for a while. Sorry.

She never thought it would end like this: a moment of weakness—that’s all it takes and she paid the ultimate price. It was all  _ his _ fault.

 

Life went on for those who survived the snap. It was difficult, but most people were able to adjust to their new life… Some weren’t so lucky.

 

Steve and Natasha worked everyday to find a way to bring everyone back. With no word on Tony, and Clint being MIA, that leaves just the four original avengers to carry out this mission. Bruce spent countless hours looking through databases trying to see if the list of missing persons all vanished due to the snap. Thor spent his time traveling through space to see if there were other answers out there to help bring Thanos to justice. It was a rough time for those who stayed alive.

 

Even though the world seems glum, there is one reason for Steve and Natasha to be happy: James Rogers. They have a healthy baby boy, their miracle baby. He isn’t supposed to exist, but here he is, alive and well. Baby James is what keeps them together; he gives them hope. Thanos has to be stopped, there are so many people who still need to meet the son of Captain America and Black Widow.

 

Natasha smiles as she rocks James to sleep. His face is peaceful as he allows himself to be soothed by the sound of her voice before drifting off to rest. Steve walks into their room just in time to see his son fall asleep. He smiles at the scene, but immediately feels guilty. How can he be happy when all of his friends are gone? Natasha knows that look in his eyes so she puts James into his crib before pulling Steve with her to their bed.

 

“Nat…”

 

“Steve, don’t— not tonight, please.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

 

They stay silent while they both try to get some sleep; they’re both exhausted. Being new parents is tough on its own, add on having to plan to save the world makes it a lot worse. Steve was just about to fall asleep when he hears her.

 

“Steve?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Promise me that no matter what happens, James will be alright.”

 

“Of course… he’s our son. We can protect him… What brought this on?”

 

“I just have a bad feeling, that’s all.”

 

“It’ll be alright, Nat. It has to be.”

 

“I know. I love you, Steve.”

 

“I love you too. Let’s get some sleep before James gets fussy.”

 

-

 

He really should’ve seen it coming, but he didn’t. He always thought it would be him to make the sacrificing play— not her— not the love of his life, the mother of his child. Natasha was hit and it was because he was distracted. She took the hit meant for him. They were in battle and he didn’t see the tree branch thrown in his direction. He was too caught up in seeing Bucky and Sam again. It was working, their plan. Thanos’ snap was being reversed, but he celebrated too early, he was careless and now she has to suffer because of it. He’s with her now, by her side, just as she’s always been with him. The fight was far from over… Thanos is subdued for now, but that doesn’t mean he would give up without a fight.

 

“Nat! Stay with me! You’re going to be okay, just stay with me okay?”

 

She smiles for him, reaching up to touch his face. Even while she’s in pain and bleeding out, her focus is on him.

 

“Remember your promise to me, Steve…. Stay with James.”

 

“No, I’m not leaving you.”

 

“I can’t ask you to stay with me. You need to finish this.”

 

“Not without you.”

 

“We both know what’s going to happen. Don’t stay and make it worse. You don’t have much time left, they need you— James needs you.  _ I _ need you to be strong.”

 

“I… I can’t.”

 

“Yes, you can. You’re stronger than this, and you can save them. Just like how you saved me: you saw the worst in me, but you still helped me clear the red out of my ledger. Now go get ‘em, soldier…”

 

“I love you, Nat.”

 

“I love you too. Always.”

 

She was right, he has a world to save. They’re heroes first, and even though it hurts, he knows this is what he has to do. He leaves her to finish the battle, and they win, but when he goes back to her… she’s gone. She didn’t stay. She bled out before anyone could get her help. Steve wanted to go with her, but he promised to stay strong for James.

 

He stays for his son, he’s happy he did, but his broken heart never quite healed.

 

-

 

James is fourteen years old now. He grows up without knowing his mother, but that doesn’t mean he loves her any less. She was a hero; just like his dad, but heroes have their limits.

 

It’s been almost fifteen, long years without Natasha, and Steve is tired of holding on. Life has been hard without her there to keep him going. He’s unsteady and wary— the heartache is taking a toll on his body. Steve’s never been afraid of dying, some call it reckless, but they all know he’s chasing after his heart. He was ambushed with an attack, and he would’ve been fine if he wasn’t trying to protect James. It was his first mission and he managed to get his dad in trouble.

 

He’s currently in the hospital with all sorts of tubes poking inside of him. James is right beside him waiting for him to wake up. He’s unstable, but the serum should be able to bring him back. He’s taken worst hits, but it seems his willpower just isn’t quite there anymore.

 

“Hey, Champ. What’s got you in such a bad mood?”

 

“Dad! You’re awake!”

 

Steve smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. James notices how exhausted his dad is in that moment; it’s as if his fire’s burned out.

 

“Dad…”

 

“It’s gonna be okay, James. Don’t worry.”

 

“You promised, you promised me… You promised  _ mom _ !”

 

“I know… I’m sorry…”

 

“If you love me, don’t let go.”

 

“I do love you, don’t ever doubt that.”

 

“You can’t leave me, not with mom gone too.”

 

“You’re not alone son, we’ll always be with you.”

 

“No, please just hold on. Stay with me.”

 

“Okay.”

 

He was lying, James knows it, but he held onto hope that he wasn’t. James grew up listening to his parents’ love story. The soldier and the spy who fell in love against all odds; Captain America and Black Widow. They were opposites, but they complimented each other so well. Nothing could keep them apart, not even their own child. He knows it’s not his dad’s fault. He held on for fourteen, long years after his mom died, but still a promise was a promise.

 

To his credit, Steve does hold on for a few more days before he passes. It still didn’t make it any easier for James. He watched as his father slipped further and further away from him. Sometimes he would catch him talking to his mom as if she was still alive. He was always so happy in those moments. They truly were in love, still in love even in the afterlife.

 

They bury him next to his mother— the soldier and the spy were finally reunited again. James visits their grave everyday, and he still can’t believe that they’re both gone. He places flowers on both of their graves.

 

“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry. I wish I was as strong as you two, and I should’ve been more careful… I miss you… I promise I’ll make you two proud.”

 

It doesn’t hit him until he’s back home with boxes everywhere that he’s completely alone. This place isn’t his home anymore, it’s just a house. With both of his parents gone, there was nothing left here for him. He finally lets out the tears he had held back for so long. He crumbles to the floor and sobs; so much for being strong.

 

When night falls and he’s on the brink of dreamworld, he sees them. He can barely make out their faces, but he would recognize them anywhere. He couldn’t hear them, but they were smiling at him. He falls asleep shortly after that, but when he wakes up in the morning, he knows he’s going to be okay.


End file.
